Textually Active

moi: ps. i am listening to Bob Dylan. is that better?

him: yes. =) have you met the man with the coonskin cap in a pig pen who wants 11 dollar bills and u only got 10?

moi: nah, i was in the basement mixing the medicine.

him: haha very good. i thought johnny was doing that? arent you on the pavement thinkin bout the government? =)

moi: nah. i was making out with johnny and then he made me do that for him

him: im gonna kick johnnys ass

I love my boyfriend.

Sucking Dick at Sucking Dick

I've always been told I'm really good at giving head. Not trying to brag here, just repeating what I've heard. So when my recent boyf told me he didn't like blowjobs, I became immediately alarmed. There goes my greatest power.

Of course, being me, I decided to change his mind. After begging him during our first sexcapade to let me do the deed (this boy is truly one of a kind), he realized that his former fuck buddy was just really bad at giving head, and so it wasn't the act of oral sex he hated, but the way she did it. Cool by me.

The next few times I went down on him, it all went rather well. I tend to have a churny stomach when going down on boys (I do a special deepthroating trick that involves me having to use my gag reflex in a way God most certainly did not intend), so I didn't swallow for him the first few times. But one night, he was feeling extra horny and I was on my period, so I thought I'd treat him.

The first time I swallow for a new boy (always a boyfriend.), I like to trick him into thinking that I'm not going to, getting the tissues ready, asking him to tell me when, etc, so that when I finally do swallow, it's a pleasant surprise. However, this boy is a gentleman, and thus he attempted to warn me several times when I didn't get off his junk to catch it in a tissue. This resulted in me coming up to yell something along the lines of "SHUT UP I'M GONNA SWALLOW" and my boy jizzing everywhere. Awesome.

Naturally, after this disaster, I waited a bit before attempting to even blow him again. When I finally did, I wanted to prove to him I can, in fact, swallow (I'd been bragging and had just fucked my game up). I pulled out all the stops on the act itself, and when it was showtime, I clamped my mouth down on the base and went for it.

It was absolutely flawless, the best I'd ever swallowed. I didn't even taste a drop. Until, of course, I underestimated exactly how much baby batter this kid had in him (he doesn't jack off, so it all just sits there. I am completely not used to this.). So, I choked on the large amount of man juice in my throat, and spit all over his balls. If ever there was a time for a CockBib... He later told me his thighs were wet, and everything else.

Apparently I have no right to brag after al.

The Best of Pot Psych

I watch Pot Psychology religiously. I freakin' love that shit. Tracie is my model for how I dress, she was the reason I started a blog, and I base my life off lessons I learned through Pot Psych. So here are some of my favorites (or at least my favorite ones that are still findable on the internet)

Can You Lose Your Virginity to a Dildo?

How Long Do I Have to Wait to Have Sex After an Abortion?

The Highest of Pot Psychology

My Roommate is Bulimic, What Should I Do?

And, of course,

Is Marriage for Suckers?

You're welcome.

And Now For Something Completely Nerdy.

I read Jezebel a lot, and I found this article, which made me stop and think. If you have any intention of ever reading the Twilight series, or think it's repulsive and hate me for even covering it, don't read this article.

Yes, Breaking Dawn has a lot of problems. I'm going to counter them the same way Jez did. First, "Bella's willingness to marry her vampire lover Edward, even though it means becoming a vampire, leaving behind her family, and sacrificing any hope of a normal life." Okay. We knew the girl was bizarre when she almost sacrificed her mother for this kid. There was no chance for Bella since the beginning. And she always wanted to become a vampire too, so that she can stop the craziness happening to everyone.

Second, her pregnancy. As much as it disturbed the Jez readers, I can't help but know I'd feel the same way if I found myself pregnant. As much as know I'm too young to have a kid, and also in college, with no way to care for the thing, if I were to accidentally get pregnant, I would no doubt have the baby. I have a really strong maternal instinct. I'd feel guilty for the rest of my life if I had an abortion. However, I am pro-choice because I know that the choice is the important thing, even if I don't make that choice.

Yes, the baby kills her from the inside out. But we must also remember that this is a fantasy novel. I've got no other excuse for this but that you've got to remember that vampires and werewolves and mutant babies don't exist, and also Meyer needed to toss some conflict in there. Bella's life can't stay normal for long, sheesh.

Yeah, it's heteronormative, too. Underneath all the criticism, we must remember that Meyer is Mormon. She is MORMON. A Mormon author isn't exactly going to throw in Nora Roberts-style sex scenes, or gay anything, or sex before marriage, or abortion. She's conservative as it gets. So I tend to forgive her conservative writing like I tend to forgive the fact that it's not written particularly well.

I just love that shit anyway. We all have our guilty pleasures.